🎅 A Funny Santa Visit
5
Santa finally shows up at 2:47 a.m., wheezing like he sprinted a marathon in snow boots. He crawls out of the chimney, covered in soot, whispers “HO HO—why is this house so SMALL?” and immediately trips over a Lego that was definitely not there last year.
He dusts himself off, checks his list, squints, then mutters,
“Nice… nice… nice… who is Brad and why does he owe me money?”
The milk is almond. Santa takes a sip, stares into the distance, and says,
“Back in my day, milk came from a cow, not a philosophy.”
He eats the cookies anyway—crumbs everywhere—then sets off the motion sensor.
BEEP. BEEP.
Lights flip on. The family freezes. Santa freezes harder.
Dad: “Uh… you’re early?”
Santa: “Supply chain issues.”
Mom: “Is that our phone charger?”
Santa (plugging in his sleigh GPS): “Union rules.”
The dog starts barking. Santa throws a treat like a smoke bomb and whispers,
“Rudolph taught me that.”
Before leaving, Santa leaves presents, a receipt, and a sticky note on the fridge:
“Tell Brad to stop emailing me.”
He vanishes up the chimney, yells “HO HO—OW,” and drops one sock back down.
Christmas morning: everyone’s happy… except Brad. 🎄😆
