5
Santa finally shows up at 2:47 a.m., wheezing like he sprinted a marathon in snow boots. He crawls out of the chimney, covered in soot, whispers âHO HOâwhy is this house so SMALL?â and immediately trips over a Lego that was definitely not there last year.
He dusts himself off, checks his list, squints, then mutters,
âNice⌠nice⌠nice⌠who is Brad and why does he owe me money?â
The milk is almond. Santa takes a sip, stares into the distance, and says,
âBack in my day, milk came from a cow, not a philosophy.â
He eats the cookies anywayâcrumbs everywhereâthen sets off the motion sensor.
BEEP. BEEP.
Lights flip on. The family freezes. Santa freezes harder.
Dad: âUh⌠youâre early?â
Santa: âSupply chain issues.â
Mom: âIs that our phone charger?â
Santa (plugging in his sleigh GPS): âUnion rules.â
The dog starts barking. Santa throws a treat like a smoke bomb and whispers,
âRudolph taught me that.â
Before leaving, Santa leaves presents, a receipt, and a sticky note on the fridge:
âTell Brad to stop emailing me.â
He vanishes up the chimney, yells âHO HOâOW,â and drops one sock back down.
Christmas morning: everyoneâs happy⌠except Brad. đđ
Dwayne âThe Rockâ Johnson: Smiles, Muscles, and Movie Magic Move over Hollywood, thereâs a man…
Travel Hacks So Strange They Just Might Work (And Probably Will Make People Stare) Traveling:…
Weird Office Hacks That Will Actually Make You Look Smart (Even When Youâre Not) Ah,…
TikTok Trends Blowing Up Right Now: Challenges, Hashtags, and Viral Moments You Canât Miss Introduction…
Bathroom Tricks That Will Make Your Life Cleaner (Or Messier) Ah, the bathroomâthe one place…
7 Kitchen Hacks That Will Save Your Food (Or Burn Your House Down) Ah, the…