TOP 10 FUNNY THINGS HEARD AT CHRISTMAS (Guaranteed to be overheard near the snack table) 1. “I’m not hungry, I just want a little taste.” — said moments before someone builds a plate that could feed a small village. 2. “Who brought THIS?” Everyone looks around nervously. It was Aunt Linda. It’s always Aunt Linda. 3. “That’s not how you cook a turkey.” — from someone who has never cooked a turkey. 4. “It was cheaper online.” The most offensive sentence in the room… especially when the gift is from online. 5. “Wait… that’s not mine.” Said while holding someone else’s phone, coat, child, or drink. 6. “We’re leaving early.” Translation: We are emotionally done and escaping before dessert. 7. “I only had one glass.” Everyone in the room quietly counts four empty cups. 8. “Let’s just take one more picture.” This sentence adds 45 minutes to Christmas. 9. “It’s not that loud.” — yelled over music loud enough to summon Santa from space. 10. “So… when are you getting married?” 🎅 Christmas magic instantly disappears. 🎁 BONUS (Because You’ll Hear These Too) “That’s how Grandma did it.” “We don’t talk about that Christmas.” “Who touched the thermostat?” “This tastes… interesting.” 🎄 FINAL TRUTH Christmas isn’t about gifts. It’s about hearing the same funny sentences every year and pretending you didn’t hear them last year too.